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THE HEIM WOMEN
-- a primal release, action painting
30" x 22" Enamel & acrylic on watercolor paper

“The Heim Women” is an expression that reflects a pivotal point in my life: embracing the essence of womanhood. My experience during the process of creating this painting (1989) is the catalyst that put into motion the eventual severing of unspoken collaborative ties with my (childhood) care givers and elders.

Here, my story, of how an emotional, life changing moment in my studio gave birth to the first, important painting of my career, “The Heim Women”...

I was happy, joyfully painting until a telephone conversation left me stirred with anger. Usually I would not paint filled with such angst, however, suddenly I was pulled to the studio by a force greater than I. With oversized brush in hand, dripping of paint, messy, then quickly and all of a sudden, I found myself on the other side of a split second primal scream release. As I opened my eyes, I noticed my lungs had expanded and I was able to feel a big, full breath, never felt before...and then I see this painting at my feet. Instantly I tried to wash off the chaotic paint marks to try and salvage the paper, then...within minutes, assimilating what the !$%^&!**!!&^! just happened, I realized the angst vanished and an empowered sense of self filled a space that instantly I became aware of ~ had been occupied for so many years with resentment, guilt, blame and anger. Immediately I felt a new sense of giving myself permission to vent in a positive, safe, creative environment. Wow, wow, wow...a catharsis guided by gut instinct and ultimately, a gift of forgiveness to myself and family members. I must also mention at this time I was in therapy learning how to use expressive modalities of creativity to help emote 30 years of pent up emotions but up to this point, had never had an unintentional immediate reaction, such as this!

2016 -- Every time I look at this image or recall the moment of its creation, I feel bone deep gratitude, to the core of my Soul for this lesson or blessing(?) that set my life on a new course of processing emotion instead of imploding, rising above it or succumbing to the victim archetype. This is the first of many self-expressions that has bubbled up since that day. I hope “The Heim Women” encourages you in some way, as it does me...to live as an expressive Being...to live well, be curious, kind, and at all cost, honor thy creativity, intelligence, playfulness, sensuality and spiritual understanding (in whatever way that means for you!) of The Creator and ones life purpose.

1989

THE HEIM WOMEN
-- a primal release, action painting
30" x 22" Enamel & acrylic on watercolor paper

“The Heim Women” is an expression that reflects a pivotal point in my life: embracing the essence of womanhood. My experience during the process of creating this painting (1989) is the catalyst that put into motion the eventual severing of unspoken collaborative ties with my (childhood) care givers and elders.

Here, my story, of how an emotional, life changing moment in my studio gave birth to the first, important painting of my career, “The Heim Women”...

I was happy, joyfully painting until a telephone conversation left me stirred with anger. Usually I would not paint filled with such angst, however, suddenly I was pulled to the studio by a force greater than I. With oversized brush in hand, dripping of paint, messy, then quickly and all of a sudden, I found myself on the other side of a split second primal scream release. As I opened my eyes, I noticed my lungs had expanded and I was able to feel a big, full breath, never felt before...and then I see this painting at my feet. Instantly I tried to wash off the chaotic paint marks to try and salvage the paper, then...within minutes, assimilating what the !$%^&!**!!&^! just happened, I realized the angst vanished and an empowered sense of self filled a space that instantly I became aware of ~ had been occupied for so many years with resentment, guilt, blame and anger. Immediately I felt a new sense of giving myself permission to vent in a positive, safe, creative environment. Wow, wow, wow...a catharsis guided by gut instinct and ultimately, a gift of forgiveness to myself and family members. I must also mention at this time I was in therapy learning how to use expressive modalities of creativity to help emote 30 years of pent up emotions but up to this point, had never had an unintentional immediate reaction, such as this!

2016 -- Every time I look at this image or recall the moment of its creation, I feel bone deep gratitude, to the core of my Soul for this lesson or blessing(?) that set my life on a new course of processing emotion instead of imploding, rising above it or succumbing to the victim archetype. This is the first of many self-expressions that has bubbled up since that day. I hope “The Heim Women” encourages you in some way, as it does me...to live as an expressive Being...to live well, be curious, kind, and at all cost, honor thy creativity, intelligence, playfulness, sensuality and spiritual understanding (in whatever way that means for you!) of The Creator and ones life purpose.

1989